So the last time I was here was February. February when the foul thing called depression had it’s icy fingers around my heart. February when I was wading through sand just to get through one day.
Now it’s May, May with the sunshine and the sea of calm. May the month of my birth. May the month of new things. May the month of Mental Health.
I’m not going to lie. I’d rather have anxiety than depression. At least with anxiety there’s some sort of swing up to a high. At least anxiety can make me productive in the efforts to distract/relax myself. Even though I know that Depression doesn’t make you weak. Even though I would never say that to… Continue reading The Thing About Depression….
I can’t tell which I’m heading for. I’m hoping it’s the latter. That just before I crash and burn they’ll be some big revelation and I’ll have an epiphany where by I realise how to fix myself. I’m hoping I’m not heading for that crash, but I fear I might be. I’m angry all the… Continue reading Breakthrough or Breakdown?
January 2nd brought my first day back at work after the Christmas holidays and my last CBT session. I have to say weeks ago I would have been incredibly anxious about the idea of finishing CBT. I would have been scared of what would happen without them there helping me. Actually it turns out though,… Continue reading The End Of CBT!
This time last year I opened my diary and I made a bunch of promises to myself of things I was going to do. Who I was going to be. 2017 was going to be the year I conquered all. 2016 had been shit. The death of Alan Rickman, my final few months at Build-A-Bear… Continue reading Obligatory New Year Post! Happy 2018! Goodbye 2017!
You’ll be pleased to hear, or maybe you won’t, that CBT has helped me immensely and although I know that anxiety will always be a part of my life, for now, for the first time in a long time I feel in control of it. I feel happy, I feel ready to take on the… Continue reading Its a funny old time of year….
It seems that this month has been a month of big changes for me, a month to learn things about myself that I’d apparently forgotten. Firstly it was Nanowrimo. A month of trying to write a 50,000 word novel in 30 days. Did I finish it? Well, I wrote 50,000 words but I didn’t finish… Continue reading A Change in Me